Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Matching Phenomenon

There is something called "The Matching Phenomenon" that I read about in a human psychology book. It stated that, when looking for a mate, people will almost always choose someone who is as equally attractive as they are.

This was a breakthrough for me at the time! For a single, husband-seeking college student, all I had to do was rule out all the way too attractive, and way too unattractive guys I knew, and narrow it down to the ones that looked like me!

There were a few questions, though.....
I mean, are we judging by the attractive criteria already set by our society? Because what most people think is attractive I might think is horribly homely. What if two people fall in love and they live in a society that doesn't have attractive ideals? That must be the exception.
Also, are we saying that the match we find will be as attractive as we are to ourselves? Purely subjective! Some people might find themselves more or less attractive than they actually are, and end up choosing the wrong-attractive match. That might make people say, "She married above her." (Or below her, depending on who's judging.)
Or, that might make her question her motives somewhere down the line when she hears about "the matching phenomenon."
Or how about a blind person? Will they follow this natural phenomenon and match themselves with someone they can't see, who is equally as attractive as they are?

I was obsessed with this idea for quite some time and would tell everyone about it. It was one of the many monologues I carried with me when I wanted to strike up a conversation? "So, uh, heard of the matching phenomenon?"
It never landed me a date with someone I thought was my equally attractive match, because honestly, I didn't know for sure what that was.

Years passed and I forgot all about this phenomenon. However, I found this photo of me and Micah and the first thing that I thought was "Matching phenomenon!"
We look perfect for each other! We aren't twins, we don't dress alike, we have different facial features and cranial structure. We smile different, walk different, talk different and think different. But when I look at us there is a something in the universe that says we are the perfect match.

Without even trying, we ended up being another statistic in the matching phenomenon.

Micah and me, before marriage and kids, 2004


redrockmama said...

I have never heard of the matching phenomenon but MAN! You guys sure do look great together :0)

Jana Neser said...

I LOVE this idea! I think it's usually pretty true...
You guys do make a perfect match :)