Friday, July 31, 2009

Flashback Friday-fish

I've been too busy to blog these past weeks, but I thought a Flashback Friday would be too easy and not take up too much time. So here it is:

The first fish I ever speared. It was too small too cook, in my opinion, and how I actually caught that little manini is a miracle! I actually stood there and watched my Samoan comrade eat the whole, raw thing in one bite. gross.

Somweheres in Mokuleia, 2001

Thursday, July 23, 2009

To Dread or not to Dread

It's been haunting me for years, should I dreadlock my hair, or not?. I've always envied those who can pull off some funky hair do. All my life I've had friends who've ventured into crazy hair experimentation, always dying, cutting, styling...and always having fun with it, to my envious amazement.

This is the picture I saw on the web, four years ago,that made me fall in love with dreads.

And here's me, I think I've had the same hair since I was 3. (Excluding the perm)
I've never dyed it, however it's changed color and texture through various sun exposure. I cut it really short once, and hated it. Most days it's up in a poofy bun, and most days it's a foofy foof. Dreadlocks seems like a fun solution to having stylish hair, without having to "do" it every day. Make life easier, eh?



I've poured for hours over this website, drooling over pictures of beautiful men, women, and children with dread locks, trying to imagine my smiling mug in there, somewhere.

As I've been vacillating over this idea again and again, finally one night last week I had a dream about it. It was such a powerful dream, that changed my mind completely. I won't share all the personal details, but the end of the story is, I would be extremely unhappy with dreadlocks.

Moral of the story-- Dreams can provide the best answers to some of our most pressing questions. To dread, or not to dread?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Home is....

Wherever you are with your family, in my opinion. However, we've been wanting a "place" to call home for sometime now. When we got to Cedar we felt we could breathe a huge sigh of relief. We truly love it here.

However, after the fluffy clouds have cleared, and reality has been sinking in, we've been realizing that by some crazy chance, we may not get to stay. I know, I know, we bought land and that's what we've been telling everyone; That we're Cedar City locals now for life!

Micah finishes his student teaching next year and then it's time to get hired. But what if he doesn't get a job here? What if we have to move? What if this was just a short stopping point on our journey? What if I have to start thinking in short terms again?

Now picture me a whining 2 year old screaming, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna!" because that's how I feel about leaving.

"Now Sally, don't jump ahead of yourself, your thinking, when doors close, windows open." But I still want my windows to open up to this.......



Friday, July 17, 2009

Flashback Friday-Bustin a Coal

Bustin a coal. Blowin a flame. Hand Drill fire set.


I never know when I'll run into an old Trailwalker, and get to relive my old ANASAZI memories. Last night I met some folks that had been there in 1996. I was there from 2002-2004. In so many ways, the trail stays with you throughout life. The skills and lessons you learned on the trail help shape you and make you, who you are today. On the hard days here in the city, I can always remember even harder days out in the wild, where all I needed was God, food, water and shelter to get through the toughest of experiences. And I always came out okay.

Trying to keep it simple every day, the Trailwalker way...


Cherry Creek. Tonto National Forrest, AZ.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Little Mommy Rewards



How do you treat yourself? All work and no play can make you dull, or however the saying goes. I think it most likely will just suck the sanity right out of you.
So, it's probably important to fill your cup with little rewards once in a while, after all the hard work you do.

And I'm not only talking about the work of children-rearing, I'm talking about anyone who doesn't sit idly around doing who knows what all day, but whom otherwise spends their time growing, learning, changing, and affecting others for the good. I like to imagine this is the majority of our happy, busy world, but then I think of this little grocery market in HI, where extremely idle people sit outside all day doing nothing. If ever I am feeling guilty for needing a break from reality, I think of this little market, and feel like maybe I'm doing some good.

So taking little breaks is good. Fill your cup, reward yourself. Stop reading so much information, stop planning so much, stop organizing so much. Perhaps I should dedicate the rest of my summer to eating my favorite foods, and watching all the movies I've missed, on DVD. Anyone care to join me?

So tonight after the kids go to sleep, I am watching the chick flick (He's just not that into you) I rented, and eating avocados with salt on them, and my fav honey pudding.

Cheers to the little rewards that keep us sane. :)

Maybe tomorrow I'll shave my legs. woot woot!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Zadok

Passionate, sensitive, strong-willed, and assertive. These are excellent qualities I'd look for in a friend, the kind of qualities that make beautiful people. The kind of qualities that make wonderful things happen. Creative, imaginative, loving, and concerned for others. Clever, spontaneous, energetic and smiling.
These are the many qualities I find in my three year old, as he's becoming the little person that he is. I am proud of him and I love him so much. He is my little friend.



Zadok has always needed me close by. Ever since he was a baby he didn't ever want to be put down. He never wanted to let go, even after his tummy was full. He never wanted anyone else to hold him. He never wandered more than 10 feet away from his safety net, his lifeline, his mother. He finds comfort in knowing I am always here, always listening, always answering questions, and always available for games and fun.



It hasn't always been easy for me. He never was one for self-entertaining.
You know those kids that walk into a room full of kids and toys and have a field day? Not my Zadok. My Zadok clings to me for dear life, needing time to adjust, time to acclimate, time to warm up to this new room. This new person. This new stimulating experience.

It hasn't always been easy for me. There are times when I've fought against him. Just wanting a second alone to sit quietly, or be able to go to a friends house and not stand outside convincing him it's okay to go in. Or to just be able to attend an LLL meeting without sitting in the corner entertaining him the whole time. (Meanwhile, all the other kids are happily playing with toys) Or to be able to attend my Sunday classes, without warming him up to nursery, for the last 2 years! I wanted this kid who was....more like me. Easy going, comfortable, adjustable, flexible. Not this kid who was always attached.



Six months ago I toyed with the idea of sending him to a daycare two times a week, to give me some room to breathe. When I picked him up from his first day there, I held him in the car and cried and cried. I told him we were done with that daycare. I missed him so much, and it was so hard to be away from him. I realized from that experience, that I was just as attached, all along.



Zadok trusts us with his feelings. Sometimes I don't understand his feelings. Sometimes his feelings frustrate me, make me angry, make me impatient. But Micah always reminds me that I don't need to understand his feelings, I just need to let him feel them. Zadok is secure. He knows his feelings are safe with us, and that makes me happy.



There are days when I could be more sensitive than I am to his needs. There are days when I wish he was more sensitive to mine. But as his mother, I have been able to recognize the value in not pushing him away, in making him feel safe, no matter how draining or hard it is on me.

I think it would be really hard to be passionate, sensitive, strong-willed, assertive, creative, imaginative, loving, clever, spontaneous, energetic, smiling, and concerned for others, if you had to worry about your needs being met all the time.

Someday he will leave my side and go off into the world with all these wonderful qualities. But for now, he is my little attachment, and I'm getting pleasantly used to that.



All photo credits got to Sarah, who captured the many emotions of zadok so wonderfully)

Friday, July 10, 2009

The Cupcake Cake

I first heard about CCC's (Cup Cake Cakes) on cakewrecks and thought I would try my hand at this interesting concept. Although mine isn't really a traditional CCC, covered with globs and globs of frosting, I think it turned out lovely.



This was for my Mother's birthday, when she came to visit last week. Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you!



Thursday, July 9, 2009

Camping with the Jacksons

Do you dare?

Sally and Micah would really like to relive their hiking glory days, but we settle for a 6 mile round-tripper, hoping our 3 year old can make it.

About 1/2 way thru the first 3 miles, 3 year old is done hiking. "I am sooooo tired!"he says.
So Micah carries 3 year old on his shoulders, while Mom has 1 year old on my back.


Until, we arrive at the waterfall, where Micah slips and injures his shoulder, badly.


So, Sally ends up hiking 3 miles back to camp sight with 3 year old and large, heavy backpack full of clothes and water, while injured Micah carries 1 year old in the mei-tai. Sally nearly cries the whole way back because the weight is just too much on my body.


We get back to camp, hungry, tired, and feeling pretty broken. However, Zadok and Odin have just slept all the way back, so they are ready to parrrrrty.


So, a very exhausted Sally takes the boys down to the creek, while Micah fixes dinner. After a lovely dinner of hamburgers, corn-on-the-cob, and pears, we realize Sally didn't pack enough food for the next day 1/2. We will have to ration our portions and snack lightly.

That night in the tent baby Odin keeps rolling around, and waking up. So Sally keeps nursing him back to sleep--about 15 million times. Sally wakes up in the morning grumpy and wanting to shoot somebody. Just not sure who? Certainly not the baby.

Well, maybe a nice breakfast will cheer me up. Oh yah, we didn't pack enough food. Now the Jackson family is running around with half the calories they normally have, feeling a little agitated. When we've had enough of applesauce and more pears, we decide to pack up. Not to mention Micah is in so much pain, he needs to get home and ice that shoulder.

It takes us 2 hours to get camp packed up. We drive 3 hours home. Luckily baby Odin sleeps almost the whole way so we don't have to pull over 50 times.

Now wasn't that fun? Yes it was!
On the way home we talk about when we can go back again. "Remember that beautiful waterfall....and those red rock mountains....and the lazy creek beneath our camp sight? Please make it soon......"


(the trail to Calf Creek)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Blogging 101

I got my boys to bed early tonight and said, "Yes! Tonight is the night I'm going to figure out how to make my blog cute!"
I want a new layout, I want to organize my links, I want to add a picture at the top and change the bland title to fancy cursive, and I want a new color scheme. It's going to have a a whole new feel and look, and I will love it!

Twenty minutes later I feel like I've just failed Computer 101. How can this be so hard? I so frustratingly started flipping thru websites, looking up templates,searching through codes.....and it was like learning a new language! A language I don't have time to learn in my already busy life!

How do people do it?

I look at my elders, and how all this computer technology is so new to them. I see myself holding back impatient words, as I try to explain simple computer things like copying a link, or opening a new tab. Things that seem too common sense.

"Now how do you get to your blog again?" is a question I've heard many times.
"I sent you the link, Mom"
"Oh yah, I think I have it saved in an old email."
"Well, you can bookmark the page, and then you'll always have it."
"Okay, explain how to do that again?"

I worry that my simple knowledge of computer use won't be good enough in 30 years. Someday my kids are going to be rolling their eyes saying, "Duh Mom, all you do is press that button and blah blah blah," as I stare at the screen with this dumb-faced stupor.

I know I can't possibly know everything about everything in this world, but I feel like computer technology is going to be one of the important ones. It kind of stresses me out that I already can't keep up and it's only just begun.

It's been 9 years since I got my very first email address. I would walk into this cafe and pay $1 for every 15 minutes on the Net. I would sit there for 3 hours, typing emails to everyone I knew. I thought it was so very new-age cool. I've probably sent out 1000's of emails since that first love affair with Cafe internet. But not much has changed beyond that.

So here it is, folks.

My blog, for the next 9 years.