Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Winter Sucks

Today is our first day of snow. It is purely white, and soft, and beautiful, and we can see it falling onto our concrete steps through the window of our apartment. I put chairs next to the window so the boys could stand and look up, to see the snow as it falls from the sky. "Ooooh ahhhh--It's snow mama! It's snow! When can we go out and play in it?"

"I don't know," I reply. I know they look out and see a Winter wonderland of possibilities.
When I get up to see the snow falling, I see a cage. It's as if a big, black, ugly cage is falling down and closing up all around me. Its white, soft and tempting flakes welcoome me, yet at the same time seem to be pushing me back, and keeping me in, like a beautiful demon, tricking my soul.

It won't always be like this. As the snow keeps falling all Winter long, I will adjust to it, learn from it, play in it, enjoy the sparkling beauty of it, and have many happy days covered head to toe in pure, white snow.

But for some reason, this first day of snow is really awful.

There's a car down the street that has a bumper sticker that says, "WINTER SUCKS>"

It makes me happy.


tracy said...

I totally agree! I love looking out a beautiful snow covered mountain or field when it is glistening. I really, really, really don't like cold, dreary, sun-less days and ugly, muddy snow...just miserable! I don't like dealing with all the hats and gloves, and layers, and coats, and missing mittens...it is just too much for a mother to have to deal with!

Zen Mama said...

I think the first day of snow is magical.
I think six months of snow is dreary. The beginning is always good, but it can be very tough when it drags on. Especially if you grew up surfing instead of making snowmen! Hugs, Sally! You're evolving and your world is different and you'll be just fine in the end!

Sally Jackson said...

Awww thankjs for your comments, I appreciate the empathy and the sympathy, and the good, positive vibes. I've tried really hard to be happy today. I don't know how to beat this sometimes. It seems to happen every year without planning it. The weather changes and I turn into a miserable, depressed, person. I mean crying at anything that goes wrong, can't seem to handle caring for my kids. It's a helpless feeling. Oh well, Heather, whoever you are, I hope I can change.

ashley said...

oh man, i totally agree with your snow cage. hope you make it through the winter in one piece ;)