Friday, May 14, 2010

Choosing Today

Personal stress + anxiety + being pregnant + playing with hyper boys all day + extreme hunger = middle of the night insomnia. So here I am, at 2am, typing on my blog again.

I dream of the day when I can just get some rest. Unfortunately, it's not right now. I have to admit, though, that some nights I get an almost solid 9 hours...except for the startling loud, wake-ups from our 2 year olds' nightmares.
His nightmares wake him up screaming and crying, and they're usually about very important things (to a two-year old). Like one night he woke up crying that he dropped his bowl on the ground. And another night it was about his big brother taking his ball away. Another night it was about wanting a quesadilla...now!
Poor kid-- I wish I could share the pangs of such (trivial) concerns. A pat on the back and a gentle whisper of, "Mommy's right here," will send him back into sleepland.
But no, my nightmares right now are about finding jobs, and moving houses, and getting to spend more time with my husband.....and on and on. Maybe If I could just sleep it away-but then I have to wake up, eventually.

Anyways, this post is about choosing. I've found that, even though I feel stressed, and I worry, and everything things so chaotic right now, I am choosing to be happy today.

I am choosing to wake up and smile, and hug my kids, no matter how grumpy I feel tomorrow.
I am choosing to be a more encouraging spouse; be more of a giver, rather than a taker.
I am choosing to be nice, even when I feel like being mean.
I am choosing to laugh, even when I want to cry.
I am choosing to be playful and fun, when all I want is time alone.
I am choosing not to yell, (but to gently explain to a two year old that hitting his brother is not good....again and again and again and again)
I am choosing to wake up tomorrow with renewed strength and energy to face the day.
I am choosing to let go of my stress and be happy with the life I have.
I am choosing to trust God more and not worry so much.
I am choosing to have a good weekend.

Thanks for letting me vent. Off to refrigerator....

3 comments:

Barbara said...

Sally, I love you so much!! As your mommy, I so badly want to make the stress go away and hold you like you can hold Odin & I could used to hold you and make it all better. Life just kicks butt sometimes but the important thing to always know (and I know you know this but we always need reminders) that everything is designed in our favor and it's ALWAYS going to be okay.It's just so hard not knowing what's up ahead and especially hard when we're tired and worn out. That's why I want also, so badly,to get over there and help you - hate that I'm in this stifled state of affairs right now. I've put my car for sale and as soon as it sells, I'm there!!!! The boys, of course, will still want their mommy but I can ease a few other burdens i'm thinking - yes! In the meantime, all my thoughts and prayers are with and for you. All my love xoxoxxo Momma

Da Denninghoff's said...

I love you to Sally o Mally!

Chelsea M said...

I am choosing... to really like this post.