I wake up and make breakfast. I feed the baby. I drive Odin and Jonah to school. I drop them off then use this time to exercise. Baby goes into the jogging stroller, we jog around the loop. Zadok rides his bike alongside me, or stays home and reads. We pick up Jonah from school. We run errands. We go home and make lunch. We play games. We do chores. We read books. We pick up Odin from school. We go to the pool. Then there's Cub Scouts, and friend play dates, church meetings, and park days.
Laundry gets done, dishes stack up, laundry stacks up, and dishes get done. And round and round it goes....
Until in the midst of it all I realize that progress is happening:
Odin is reading really well! In fact, he's reading entire books when several weeks ago he couldn't really read at all. And little Jonah is happier than he's been in months, as he's become pre-occupied with his fun, new pre-school. And Zadok is growing more social, making new friends and involving himself with Cub Scouts. He made a special new friend at church that he loves to play with each week. And Malachi is starting to Coo and make baby GA-GA-goo-goo noises, and when he smiles he throws his head back and smiles with his entire body. He isn't spitting up as much, either.
And Micah and I are happy. We love being parents. I have lots of activities, meaningful projects, and friends to connect with. My pants are getting a little looser everyday and I am feeling energy come back again. Micah is doing awesome at his job as a science teacher. He can also ride his bike 50 miles at a time without being completely wiped out afterwards. And our family calendar is full. Our lives are full, and we are making progress. We've been here in Cedar City for one year now since we moved back from Hawaii, and life is not only flowing along, but there is also an overwhelming feeling of happiness and progression as we go.
It's a really good feeling.
Sometimes It's hard for me to see the big picture of what it means to my children to have me for their mother. I can get down on myself and feel like I'm going to miss some very important piece to their childhood-- that perhaps I'm overlooking something essential that will come back to haunt me when they are all grown up and gone: Did I give my middle child enough attention? Did I listen to my children enough while they were telling me stuff? Was I patient enough? Did I teach them correct morals and values and be the example they needed? Did I feed them healthy foods and teach them how to eat intuitively? Did I teach them how to find their path to happiness?
It's so easy to start worrying if I am....mom enough.
Today as I was sitting on the floor in the living room and watching my little children dance, and roll, and jump, and couch hop, and do all the crazy kinesthetic things they do when I sit on the floor, I had a time-freezing moment. It seriously felt like time stood still for a few seconds, and I was in a bubble of perfect awareness. And in my bubble of perfect awareness I saw myself from the eyes of my children. And from the eyes of my children I saw a mother who was enough.
Because in the eyes of my children, I am the center of their entire Universe. Micah and I are the foundation of their existence! They came into this world with nothing but their bare baby butts, and here they found a mother who loves them. I was able to see today in this vision of absolute truth, how lucky they are to have ME.
There's progress happening here, and I am a huge, important piece of it.
Thank you God for giving me this sweet reminder. The end.
|HAPPY BABY M, 2 MONTHS OLD|
|Z READING BOOKS TO HIS LITTLE BROTHERS|
|A SALLY SELFIE, 35 YEARS old AND COUNTING|