Oh my! It's the end of 2015 and I only wrote 30 blog posts this past year! I am officially fired from blogging!
I really love sitting down to write on my blog and miss it like crazy, yet every.single.time I sat down to write this past year I was interrupted by something else. No joke! Whether it was a completely blank mind, guilt for not playing with my 5 year old, remembering I was supposed to pay a bill, answering an urgent breastfeeding question, returning a friend's text, or getting kicked in the hands by my nursing toddler, I just kept getting interrupted at the keyboard. So, I gave up. I gave up and moved onto other things like painting rooms in my house blue and green and yellow, reading novels recommended by my book club, running lots of miles, baking lots of pumpkin pies, playing Go Fish with my 5 year old for the 100th time, driving kids to and from school, preparing lunches and snacks, helping moms with boob questions, and making sure my toddler had my full attention while breastfeeding him (how he likes it!). So my life has been very full, however, I really miss writing and realize there has been an empty void in my life from the lack of it.
My goal for 2016 is to write more. Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors and writing enthusiasts says that sometimes all you have to do to reach your writing goal for the day (if you otherwise think you are too busy) is to sit down and make your fingers move. Just make them move and see what happens. We might think in our heads that we just don't have time to write and then that never-ending list of other important things pops into our minds. Suddenly writing isn't important anymore! But the truth is, that list will never go away and if we're going to write, we need to just sit down and make the time. Another suggestion she makes is to make the goal to write something that will fit inside of a one inch by one inch picture frame. It's such a tiny goal, but if we can just sit down and fill up that frame, sometimes that's enough to get our minds going. She even has a little one inch by one inch picture frame sitting on her desk to remind her to reach that goal. I might have to get one someday.
My problem as of lately has been feeling like if I'm sitting down writing then I am neglecting __________ (fill in the blank with whatever person, chore, responsibility, child, future dish that needs to be washed). The guilt this past year has been too much so I've avoided my computer and tried to be more responsible. But, as I've found out, my soul has suffred. My writing soul has been suffocating and yearns to get back out from it's dark hole. I need to jump out into the light and write, write, write.
Studies show that people who (love to write) are happier, feel more satisfied with their lives, feel more fulfillment and accomplishment on a daily basis, and find more joy in the day to day mundane things of life. I just made all of that up, but I'm pretty sure it could be true. Also it's probably true because I say it's true for me, and I've experienced all of that when I am free to write.
My other goal for 2016 is to not only write, but to write more passionately. It's been safer to stay in the shadows on some subjects, but I'm not a stay in the shadows type of girl. I can be a strong voice when I want to be and I think it's important for me to be more authentic with myself on what I believe to be true and right and good. There's a lot of freaky, trolley, creepy, and shmutty people voicing their opinions on the internet, why can't I be one of them? Just kidding. What I mean is that I want to be a force for goodness, light, and positive influence on the world around me. Sometimes the internet really scares me and makes me want to go hide in a hole and never come out or show my true identity to the world. But on the other hand, if everyone did that the world would be left with only the creepy creepers. I hope to share more in an effort to put something good into the world. Even if it's only on this little space, in this little corner, on this little blog, that my mother mostly reads. Sometimes.
Happy 2016 and may all your wishes come true.
(If wishes were fishes we'd live in the sea,
munching on seaweed as glad as can be)
Oh, and here's my year in review of a few things I can remember I/we did:
**I started running up my favorite hill
**Flew to Seattle Washington with my two little ones to see my mom and siblings
**Threw a HUGE fundraiser yard sale for my LLL group and raised over $800 selling people's used stuff.
**Micah cut down the big Pine trees out front and planted fruit trees
**Camped at Zion NP
**My Dad came to visit. We went to Bryce Canyon National Park
**Watched as my eldest little boy went backpacking with his Dad for the first time, for 4 days.
**Started and quit Crossfit (knee injury, sucky gym-daycare)
**Three week roadtrip to Joshua Tree Park, Sequoia Park, and Malibu Beach
**Our baby M turned one years old!
**Went to Oahu for ten days
**Tried to get rid of our dogs three different times with no luck
**The boys started piano lessons and got really good at it
**My sister Leilani and niece Waimea came to visit from Oregon
**Trained with Lacey for a half marathon then neither of us ran in it.
**Sent my middle baby Jonah to Kindergarten.
**Got my very first bike trailer to stick my little kids in so I could ride my bike more
**Started working for AYUSA as a community representative
**Read 16 novels
**Got braces and a palatal expander in my mouth. Getting surgery in 2016.
**Celebrated eleven years of marriage to my favorite guy