Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Spiritual Discipline Essay

A little over two months ago Power of Moms published another one of my short essays called,"When Prepartum Depression Meets Spiritual Discipline."
I wrote it nearly three years ago when I was pregnant with Malachi and submitted it to be published. I was thrilled when it was accepted and then nothing happened. I waited and waited then finally I decided to inquire about the article just this past February. They responded by saying, "Whoops! So sorry! We lost it somehow when we were making changes with the new editor, however we'd still like to publish it!" Yay! I got thrilled all over again!
So, here it is, better late than never: 
Spiritual Sundays: When Prepartum Depression meets Spiritual Discipline.

Reading this again was a walk down memory lane for me, remembering back to when I was pregnant with Malachi and trying to find answers to my depression episodes. It was  important then and still important now that I take time to nurture myself spiritually. I find that my spiritual cup needs to be filled daily, or I start to deteriorate into negative thought patterns. 
I've also discovered over the years that although my depression gets worse when I'm pregnant, it isn't going to go away. Depression is something I have, just like someone would have diabetes, Hashimotos, arthritis, or any other long-term, chronic condition.

In the past I've tried to convince myself that it (depression) would go away as long as I was: eating all the right foods, getting regular exercise, taking the right vitamins, seeing a therapist consistently, filling my daily spiritual cup, staying away from toxic people, and staying away from negativity that could trigger me, etc, etc...
All of those things are helpful and necessary but the truth is, the only thing that truly helps ME feel emotionally balanced, stable, and normally functioning  everyday is depression medication. Once I was able to recognize this and accept this truth I stopped trying to get off of it all the time, stopped convincing myself I was weak, stopped trying to find other failed ways to heal myself, and let the medication do it's thing. And it's been nothing short of miraculous! 
Depression medication is helping me be the best version of myself, and I'm a believer.
That is all.


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