Monday, January 3, 2022

Ocean thoughts


 Growing up surrounded by water I used to take refuge in the ocean when I felt sad or depleted, always letting it recharge my soul. I went to the ocean to mourn over my parent's divorce, to escape a chaotic home life, to seek clarity during times of confusion, to escape sadness and find peace in the serene quiet of a safe, underwater world.

I turned to the ocean during crushing, heart wrenching breakups and teenage angst. I went to the ocean to revive my spirits when I didn't feel like I could make it one more day.I went to the ocean to find self-confidence in who I was in uncertain times because In the ocean I was strong, capable, confident, loved, and nurtured, as the water shaped me into someone who could boldly face the world on land.
As I grew farther away from any belief in God, the ocean became a sacred connection to the divinity of my Mother Earth. I felt Her saline blood pulsing through my veins, strengthening me and moving me forward on Her currents. She held me for years in a hallowed space where I always felt safe, loved, and nourished. I became dependent on Her for emotional, mental, & spiritual survival. She became my every breath. In the water I felt powerful, but out of the water, my life was still hard and messy.
Down the long road of healing and as I was accepting God back into my life, I decided to allow Him to take charge and lead me wherever I needed to go. I was trusteing Him completely to guide me toward a life of safety, hope, happiness, and love, even if it wasn't near my ocean.
And He did.
After I put God in charge of my life, He led me towards the people and experiences I needed that would spiritually fulfill me, stretch me, and strengthen me in ways I never imagined.
I learned to build my life on a solid foundation and to fill my heart and soul with a faith that continues to lift me up. I developed new abilities that I never imagined for myself--things that would give me lasting joy in this world like becoming a wife and mother and having a family.
I learned, over time, that I can live away from the ocean and still be okay because of the people and things that fulfill me and because of the lasting truths I've built my life upon. I used to not feel like I could breathe without the ocean, but now I know I can.
So every time I return to the ocean and dive deep into that clear, blue water I say a heartfelt "Thank You" to my Mother Earth for lifting me and carrying me through the hardest times of my life. I thank her for giving me a sacred, loving, & beautiful space to heal, to grow, to draw strength from, and to feel safe in. And I thank her for always welcoming me back, no matter how long I've been away.
My spiritual connection with Mother Earth is a lifelong expression of gratitude for all the beauty God has given me. I still feel her strength and divinity through the power of God each and every time I find refuge in nature. The intention of Mother Earth is always present, and She is a force for good.
I'm so grateful for the ocean, for God, and for this beautiful earth, I call Mother.
**a few okole slappers out at Pops on December 29, 2021

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